Well, I'm beginning to blog, journal, or whatever it's called these days. Seems only logical as I like the past, and this is a way of creating the past so to speak. Maybe I'll actually stay on top of this so when I look back the picture won't be so blurry.
First things first, I'm a student again. It should be exciting, doing something that I've wanted to do for a long time. Even though I haven't been in school for a year, I don't think that it will be hard to get back into the swing of things. I'm not too worried about my classes, at least, not at the moment. As long as I stay focused it shouldn't be too much to handle. Maybe I'll come back and read this and laugh at how ridiculous I seemed, trying to be all sweet before I even know what's about to hit me.
As for the rest of the world? Well, I can say with confidence, that all is well; the world is still falling apart. If there is one thing that gives me hope or some sort of uneasy balance, it's that no matter what happens, the world will leave something to be desired. Sure, there will be people trying to make it a better place, and some will succeed. Then there are the ones that will try to make a pretty penny by selling people short, and some of them will succeed too. Everything stays in balance. The world has a funny way of adjusting itself in times of flux. It never stays in one place for too long because the rate of change can only match the rate of decay. That's why it gives me stability knowing that something is trying to maintain balance.
Cynicism isn't bad, right? I mean nobody is born a cynic, it only happens after we start living. People who try to remain optimistic sometimes are lying to themselves and pessimists exaggerate the slightest inconvenience. Cynics on the other hand have experience on their side. It's not like cynics are a narrowly identified group of people. I've always called my self a cynical optimist. I'm cynical because of my experience with the world, the things I've seen not happen when it should and things happen when they shouldn't. But I've always held onto that idea that things can, and will get better, even if I sometimes don't believe it. It's hard not to be cynical. People that tell you they aren't are probably lying.
When does the cynicism stop though? Does it stop when progress is made? Maybe it stops when the world starts working in such a way where things can actually happen. No more of the constant back and forth craziness. Maybe it never goes away. Maybe those cynics turn to apathy, and the cycle stops there. Apathy is the force that threatens all. It's strange to know that there are people out there that have truly given up on everything. They're not necessarily depressed, they're just so convinced that nothing will ever change, no matter what anybody does. Next time someone gets on your case for being a cynic, tell them it could be worse.
I think it's interesting how I title my entries. Back when I did this on a more consistent basis, I'd always put a witty or prophetic title that would serve no purpose other than to sound cool. However, the titles always have a way of inputting themselves into the entry in some form. Funny how things work, you start somewhere to get to another place; you just didn't know that place would take you back to the beginning.
